Saturday, October 23, 2010

Yeah, What HE Said: The Blasphemy of Expressing Opinions

“I mean, look, Bill, I’m not a bigot, but when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.”
ALARM! ALARM! BIGOT ALERT! PSYCHO ALERT! INSANE RADICAL CONSERVATIVE RIGHT-WINGER ALERT! CRUCIFY WHOEVER SAID THIS! SEVER ALL TIES TO AVOID GUILT BY ASSOCIATION! ABANDON SHIIIIIIP!

OK, OK, probably ... maybe ... peut-ĂȘtre I'm over-reacting a bit. I mean, it WAS an opinion show, so ... maybe ... but eek - what will people think? That's it. Out he goes!

Apparently that's NPR's idea of a defensible argument for firing one of their most renowned, long-standing employees. That's exactly what they did to Juan Williams for his O'Reilly Factor quote ... or for something ambiguously "larger" as several have suggested.

And therein lies the rub. Juan Williams has long been a bridge across many political worlds. He worked for NPR (for many years) but was happy to participate in political discussions live, in print, on air, and on TV with just about anyone, on just about anything. He has always been willing to try and expand mutual understanding. Problem: Conservative nuts don't understand the real world? Juan's Solution: Go on Conservative shows and explain the opposing viewpoint in refreshingly clear, even-keeled, non-inflammatory terms.

Was his line culturally-insensitive? Yes. Did it reflect a true bias that he ... and many others have? Yes. Did he specifically preface it with the caveat that he's not bigoted? Yes. Did he mis-represent opinion as fact? No. He clearly stated a fact: he gets nervous. In doing so, did he betray his insensitive opinion? Yes.

Even journalists are allowed to have opinions ... even insensitive ones.

In his own words (on Good Morning America this week)
"This is one of the things in my life that's shocking. I grew up on the left. I grew up here in New York City and I've always thought the right wing was the ones who were inflexible and intolerant. Now, I'm coming to realize that the orthodoxy at NPR, as it's representing the left, is just unbelievable," he said. "And especially for me as a black man, to somehow, you know, say something that's out of the box. They find it very difficult... I think they were looking for a reason to get rid of me. They were uncomfortable with the idea that I was talking to the likes of Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity."
NPR's differentiating advantage is that they're like Juan: Clear, non-inflammatory, diverse, and comprehensive, if a bit left-leaning, in their reporting. When I want to get a (much) deeper understanding of an issue than I can get from the talking heads on TV ... and a (much) clearer understanding than I can get from the cacophony of the internet ... I turn to NPR.

And I want to hear Juan.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Yeah! What HE Said: Inspiring Government to Be All It Can


Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
- Thomas Jefferson, US President (1743-1826)

Image: Despair.com

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Talking People to Death

From this week's NY Times:

"[Netanyahu's offer to freeze colonization of contested Palestinian territories] was aimed either at keeping talks with the Palestinians alive and his right-wing coalition partners in check, or at seeking to shift the burden of failure to the Palestinians and escape blame should the talks wither and die. - NY Times 10/12/10
They said "should" but clearly they meant "when." Why the hell did they re-start colonization anyway?? Oh, yeah, so they could offer to stop ... again.

This, to me, summarizes the whole problem. The involved parties, including the Israeli, Palestinian, and US governments as well as the Jewish diaspora, the militant mullahs, the Syrian and Iranian militaries, the arab-royals, the money-siphoning nonprofit organizations, and all the other agents provocateurs have no intention of saving the patient. They just want to make sure they're not blamed for it's death.

Lest they forget among all their strategic positioning (in soft chairs at fancy resort hotels), ego-stroking (whilst sipping tea on private jet they didn't pay for), and diplomatically chortling (while enjoying 5-star cuisine on finer china), there are people dying because of their delays. Some of those people are starving in camps. Others are getting blown to bits during their daily commute. Others are so hopeless and angry about their future that they're letting Bin Laden's clowns whip them into homicidal/suicidal furies. Others still are dying atop Humvees.

Yet everyone just continues talking. One step left, then one step right. Never moving forward lest they accidentally resolve the issue and lose their relevance. If that happened, who would pay for their fancy limos and massive security detail? Who would fund their next European vacation?

Hey Bibi, Hill, Abu! Hey nationalists! Hey settlers! Hey martyrs! Hey donors-to-the-cause! Hey talking heads! You're all wrong. You're all culpable. You're all criminally negligent. Let history reflect that as your true legacy.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Insensitive Cultural Observations: The Chinese Quirky Quant

In the interest of equal opportunity, I'll focus my next cultural-insensitivity at India's top "strategic competitor" ... and ours.

You'd never believe it by the example of Victim Two: The Chinese Quirky Quant.

To stereotype, scientists the world over have quirky tendencies. And Chinese people, to stereotype, are particularly good at choosing a group and flawlessly conforming to its norms.

The Quirky Quant is no exception in that regard. At all hours of the day and night, he will be hunched over a massive PC in an undesirable cubicle of a large tech slash financial company. The famous-er the better. The cube will have reams of paper strewn about among books on fancy maths. Well-worn books. It will be decorated with something red, something growing, and/or something proclaiming what Chinese zodiac animal-year we find ourselves in. The PC will have multiple monitors upon which will be a plethora of windows of code and diagrams suggesting an incredibly active powerful multi-tasking brain. WARNING: DO NOT try to understand what's on these screens. Your head will explode.

The specimen, himself, will have large and squarish glasses. The distance between his belt buckle and the open throat of his light blue button-down will be no more than 6 inches. Yes, his socks will be showing. They will be athletic socks. Preferably white.

You may think to yourself "how does he get away with wearing white socks to work like that?" The answer is that he wore the same white socks to his interview. At which he flubbed the behavioral part of the questioning, sat through the case study, and made generally unintelligible comments which were one part macerated grammar, two parts technical jargon, and three parts baffling accent. At which point the interviewers, from peers to execs, said to themselves ... wow - he must be smarter than me ... I should frown and nod a lot ... and then hire this dude.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Insensitive Cultural Observations: The Indian's Hot Beverage

Let's lighten things up a bit. This blog is smothered in heavy technocratic suggestions to the world's dirge-grimmest ills.

And I'm not a fan of the make-believe of political correctness.

And the world is, according to at least one walrus, flattening and overcrowding.

So since all flavors of humans are gonna be literally rubbing shoulders in the near future, let's get to know each other's idiosyncrasies. These are not criticisms. Just first-person observations and experiences extrapolated, generalized, and mixed with some assumptions.

Stereotype at your own risk.

Victim One: The Indian's Hot Beverage

Go to your local friendly chain of coffee purveyors in a large city's business district. While you order your eight bucks of triple-hot-hafcaf-mocha-latte-atte and scone, look around for the ever-present recent immigrant of India. He'll be the one with the sharp bouffant hairdo, the excessively shiny leather loafers, and the perfectly white button-down shirt. He'll bear the slight scent of the cigarette he inevitably smoked on the stroll from his office. If he has successfully procreated, he'll have a mustache.

He will curtly yet courteously order a "hot coffee" (if he's trying to identify with his adopted land) or a "hot tea" (if he's feeling particularly Indian). He will pay nonchalantly as though simple muscle memory guides his lax hand his wallet to dole out meaningless bits of money.

He will escort his beverage to the milk-and-sugar counter where he will begin the process.

Step 1: remove lid and insert stir stick
Step 2: blow on drink; stir
Step 3: attempt to slurp-sip; determine it too hot; stir
Step 4: blow on drink; stir
Step 5: lose self momentarily in a steamy Bombay Dream as the aroma enters nostrils; stir
Step 6: ponder milks and sugars; stir
Step 7: select a milk (pronounced with no "i" by the way) and pour a spot into beverage; stir
Step 8: blow on drink; stir
Step 9: attempt to slurp-sip; determine it too hot; stir
Step 10: blow on drink; stir
Step 11: attempt to slurp-sip; determine it too hot; stir
Step 12: blow on drink; stir
Step 13: slurp-sip; burn mouth; stir
Step 14: select a sugar and pour into beverage; stir
Step 15: blow on drink; stir
Step 16: lose self momentarily in a zen moment of abstract yet vivid color and movement as the aroma enters nostrils; stir
Step 17: slurp-sip; burn mouth; stir
Step 18: pour another spot of milk into beverage
Step 19: slurp-sip successfully; stir
Step 20: slurp-sip more deeply; stir; regain consciousness of the outside world
And just like that, he'll be gone. Back to his cubicle-mates upstairs.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Follow Up: Talk Amongst Yourselves: Governmental .... Effectiveness??

(specifically ... the part about the likely impact of financial industry regulatory reform)

In a recent blog post, I said:

Financial Institutions will once again be lobotomized. Divided into two classes:
- Utilities (aka retail banking)
- Casinos (aka everything else)

Utilities" are done for as a for-profit enterprise. Just like Amtrak and Con Ed, they will require permanent and heavy subsidy verging on nationalization to survive the tonnage of regulations which will be piled on.

"Casinos" will have to escape to the Bahamas, Monaco, or Indian reservations. I would not be surprised to see these firms further subdivided into firms that are allowed to play with other peoples' money ("brokerages") and those playing with their own money ("proprietary dealers").
Well ... the pudding of proof is starting to pour in ... even without the fancy new regulations:
  1. Anglo Irish Bank will be split into a "good bank"which will retain only deposits, and an "asset recovery bank" which will run down its loans over time. Leave it to the Irish to invent a casino that always loses. BTW - Seeking Alpha (blog) doesn't think this is the end of the story.
  2. Everyone's favorite financial institution, Goldman, has now announced that they're following my advice (at least in the US) by voluntarily winding down slash selling their proprietary equity trading operation called the "principle strategies group." No casinos here, Mr. Regulator, we're just a buncha blue-collar broker-types ... keep mooooving.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Take THAT Paranoid Saudi/UAE/India


(ad placed by the government of Bahrain in the August 19th Economist)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

New Newspeak

Years ago, as a consultant, I decided I would get the industry to start using the word "crisp" .... like a clean white shirt ... like a Monday morning ... with a colon.

Well, clients I've never met now say we need to be crisp and I secretly high-five my 2-year-ago self.

What could I possibly do to top that?

Here's my next 2-fer-1:

Shepherd (v) - Take responsibility for a "flock" (=set of business goals) and see it safely home to successful accomplishment ... and then butcher it and eat it with mint sauce at the last minute.
Nimble (v) - Not just agile. Not just quick-to-market. Not just flexible. All of that an more. Nimble like Jack Be Quick ... jumping over the candlestick ... not getting burned or even setting his underpants on fire. The ability to move quickly and change directions nearly instantly without losing the beat. Even if you're a hippo in a tutu. Nimble is the new grail of business.

Bingo ... Corporate Newspeak just got two new toys.

Mark my words - they're coming soon to a cube farm near you.